End Body Shaming: A rant

This was supposed to be a post on empowered eating.  But, because I suck at Google, it quickly turned into something else; I’ll save that post for another day.  For right now, this is much more important. 

I just ended up on a pro-ana forum by way of an ill-fated Google search.  I only lasted about 30 seconds on the page and I was so incredibly saddened (and yes—creeped out!) by what I saw that it shook me to the core. The particular forum post I landed on was a thread about how many times per day these girls purge.  I was horrified reading through the various responses; they varied from “once per day” to “after every meal.” I finally had to click the red x at the top of the page when I got to a photo that was in one girl’s signature line.  It was some sort of a stock photo of a girl with her head in the toilet. It had two lines of text “What are you doing?” followed by “Being perfect.”

I just…I probably shouldn't even be writing this post yet because I haven’t wrapped my head around it enough to concisely to my thoughts into words. I’m just so saddened by the fact that there are women (and men, I’m sure) out there that think this is how you achieve perfection. No, scratch that—they think perfection is attainable in the first place. It’s NOT. It’s an illusion. Everything we see on TV and in magazines that we perceive is the human body in perfect form is an airbrushed illusion.  And yet people are putting their bodies through hell, via starvation or purging, to try to attain this so-called perfection.

I’m so sad. I’m so ANGRY that this is what our society has come to.  I know that eating disorders have always existed.  Body image issues and the perfect form have always been a “thing;” just look at how Victorian women used to cram themselves into corsets to obtain that perfect hourglass figure.  But now it’s so much of a thing that it’s SUPPORTED and ENCOURAGED in select groups.  And as a society, we do nothing to prevent it!  Clothing designers produce clothing in impossibly tiny sizes Read: J Crew comes out with a size 000 and people lose weight to fit into them!  We become obsessed with thigh gaps and arm gaps and gaps anywhere we can get gaps.  We show and teach our young girls that THIS is what you should aim for. You should aim for the impossibly tiny waist, limbs that never touch other limbs.  And if you don’t/can’t achieve that, you’re not beautiful. And so we have the pro-ana forums.

I’m equally bothered by the meme based photos that float around saying things like “real women have curves” and “only dogs like sticks” and other such nonsense. STOP. Stop idealizing what a “real woman” should look like.  Everyone is different.  Everyone has a different genetic makeup, a different bone structure, and is at a different place in their journey.  All we should focus on is being happy and healthy and loving ourselves in the now.  Do you need to improve your body?  Fine. But do so in a healthy, safe way.  Let’s all come together to end body shaming and to start practicing self-love and self-acceptance. 

Rapid Shift of Focus

I made a decision this morning that caused a rapid shift in my training focus.  I’m now officially registered to run the VIA Lehigh Valley Half Marathon on Sunday September 7^th.   As in…only seven short weeks away (and I'm away on vacation one of those weeks!).  I wasn't planning to run a half this year, so aside from the trail runs this week I haven’t run more than three miles since last year.  BUT, someone pretty important to me asked if I was interested in running it, so away I’ll go. I've done three halfs already, so at least I know what to expect. I just need to shift focus and train hard.  The good news? The course has a net elevation drop! I’m somewhat familiar with the area; it should be a pretty nice race.  I’m kind of excited!

I found a six week training plan here that looks pretty doable. I've adapted it for seven and I'm planning to do two XT days (either upper and lower body lifts or a lift day and a functional training class) and only one rest day. The days may shift around some depending on what I decide to do there. I was going to post a version without highlights and notes, but I thought it was important to show that life happens and sometimes you need to adapt and adjust.

I’m going to need to shift my nutrition focus too; get away from the lower carb and higher protein, at least on run days.  Need that fuel!  The nice thing is that this will help me drop off body fat in a hurry (running always leans me down quickly) so once I can REALLY focus on my lifting I should start seeing some major gains!

I don't do trail running...And then I did.

I've been running for somewhere around six years now. Not long after I picked it up I went to our local rail-trail for a run.  HATED.IT. I was flat out miserable.  It was too hard, everything hurt, just rotten all around.  So I decided that I hated trail running and would never again do it. Whenever I'd run some sort of obstacle 5k that would take me off of paved road I was pissed.  I would let it ocmpletely ruin my race.  Well...that all changed yesterday.

After being stuck in a boring business meeting (on a beautiful day in a room with no windows), I decided to go for a run.  The meeting was at an environmental preserve, so there was a lake right there and people told me there were "walking paths."  I was expecting nice paved paths around the lake...imagine my surprise when there was a teeny bit of pavement followed by some very rough trail.  I'm talking rocks, grass, tree roots, that kinda thing.  I got that familiar feeling of dread, but I was so tired of being cooped up indoors that I decided to go for it anyway.  Shockingly enough, I liked it!! I liked it so much that I went for another run today after we finished up!

See, I liked it! Look how happy!

See folks, this just goes to show that attitude--and positive thinking--is everything. Had I let my negative experiences and thoughts take over I would have missed out on two great runs!  Part of the trail I ran went across a dam. What a cool experience!  I saw some truly beautiful sights including lovely lake views and even some deer just chillin' in their natural habitat.  And I got some much needed sunshine and cardio while pushing my body--these were the longest runs I've done in 2014! I feel happy and refreshed and ready to take on the world. 

Let's all make a pact to never say never, and to always give things a second chance.  (Crap, I guess that means I have to try skiing again...) 

Meal Prep Madness

Meal prep is a huge part of my fitness routine. If I didn't prep my week’s food on Sunday I’m pretty much setting myself up for disaster. It’s a giant PITA, but totally worth it.  I don’t typically prep dinners, but I try to get an idea of what I’m going to make and pre-chop any vegetables I may need and/or items that take a while to cook (think brown rice and quinoa).  Here’s a quick rundown of my typical prep routine:

First, I thaw a crap pile of meat. I’m carb cycling right now, so I’m eating high protein meals most days.  This week I started with about 5 pounds of chicken and 2 pounds of lean ground turkey.  I also prep a bunch of eggs, egg whites, Greek yogurt, vegetables, and salad. 

Thank goodness for BOGO sales!

Next I start making meal muffins.  I like to get these mixed up and in the oven first since they take the longest.  Two of my favorite creations are Jamie Eason's Turkey Meatloaf Muffins and Quinoa Egg Muffins.  I eat two of the egg muffins and some lean pork tenderloin for breakfast; one meatloaf muffin goes in my lunch along with about 6 ounces of chicken breast and a vegetable (this week it’s a mix of broccoli and green beans).

While the muffins are baking, I prep/portion small salads, Greek yogurts, peeled and chopped carrots, hummus, and whatever steamed veggies I want for the week. The end result is a giant disaster of a kitchen and a fridge filled with organized, pre-portioned deliciousness. 

I have to go to an off-site meeting Wednesday and Thursday of this week and I know the provided meals will be pretty junky, so I prepped myself a giant cooler filled with breakfast, lunch, mid-morning, and mid-afternoon meals.  I also packed bottled water, unsweetened tea, protein powder, almonds, etc. etc. etc.  I’m fortunate enough that the hotel I’m staying in has a mini-fridge and microwave and the meeting facilities have a full kitchen. So, I’ll be the weirdo bringing her own food. J Evening networking dinners are pretty much required, so I won’t have a ton of control there, but at least I can keep it together during the day. The hotel also has a partnership with a local gym, so I won’t even have to miss a workout. Wo0t!

Here’s to staying on track no matter what life throws at us! Cheers!

Gettin' Muddy With It!

Well, I made it through the mud run with no injuries, aside from a few small cuts and a few major blisters!  

So much mud!

Saturday I completed the Dirty Girl Mud Run in Schnecksville, PA with my favorite partner-in-crime (who just happens to be my sister-in-law) and a coworker.  We had an absolute blast!  There wasn’t much running to be had—that pretty much stopped once we got good and muddy.  Something about trying to run in squishy, muddy shoes just didn’t appeal.  The obstacles were a ton of fun and we were proud to say that we conquered them all, even the ones we found terrifying. (I was not a fan of climbing on the cargo nets). The course very much fit the old adage of “uphill both ways”—it seems like we were constantly going up steep hills and very rarely going down them.   This course was definitely a lot muddier than the one I did in April, and a whole lot more fun. I’d definitely return to be a “dirty girl” again!

Post-run beer was necessary and enjoyed!

I have to admit there was something pretty fun and inspiring about completing a women-only event.   There was no cattiness or competitiveness—everyone was just there to have a good time, cheer each other on, and help each other out if necessary (my feet got SERIOUSLY stuck in the mud at one point—if it weren't for a girl helping pick my legs up I’d still be there!) Plus there was none of that macho-male testosterone going on.  I love hanging with the guys, but it was nice to not have that added pressure and to really embrace the whole girl power thing.

I had three pretty big personal milestones at the event too.  #1: I completed all of the obstacles. I really, really wanted to go around the first cargo net. I went up and over instead.  WOO! #2: I allowed myself a corn dog after the race. I know how silly this sounds (and yes, how unhealthy they are!) but I haven’t had one of those since I joined WW in 2007. Allowing myself that indulgence and not feeling guilt over it was a big deal. And it was damn delicious.  #3: I stood in line for the rinse station in nothing but a sports bra and my muddy spandex pants. I know I still have work to do on my body, but I have learned to love myself and be confident regardless.  That was a big, BIG step for me.  I’m proud of myself (and the lovely ladies I ran with!) for taking on this challenge and rocking it!!  I can’t wait for the next adventure! 

My favorite picture of our group!

Health Coaching, Body Fat, and More

Last night I had my first meeting with my health coach, who also happens to be my sister-in-law. I didn't really know what to expect, but it was a fantastic meeting.  She affirmed a lot of what I'm already doing nutrition wise and offered some great tweaks and suggestions for improvement.  The thing I liked the most is she focused not only on the action, but the WHY. She believes that all aspects of you life need to be in order for you to attain optimal health and fitness.  Today we talked a little bit more about my future goals, why I have them, and the steps I need to start taking to attain them. She was 110% supportive and its great to know she has my back. I'm already looking forward to our next meeting!

In other news, I finally broke down and bought a body fat meter.  I clocked in at 28.1%, which while higher than I expected, is still firmly in the 'average' category.  M y short term goal is sub 24% (the 'fitness' zone) and long term is sub 20% (the 'athlete' zone).  I'm not beating myself up over it; its nice to have a baseline and a tangible thing to use to track my progress.

Up this weekend: Dirty Girl Mud Run tomorrow!! I'm completing it with my other sister-in-law and a girl from work. I'm super excited about it...and am also hoping not to injure myself again!  Tomorrow night my SIL and I are going out on the town for a girl's night.  Sunday is the normal food prep routine.

Have a happy, healthy weekend all!

It's Go Time.

I've had this blog for a long time, over two years to be exact, and yet this is my first post.  I could never decide exactly what to write, nor did I think anyone would be interested. But fitness blogs and social media pages and transformation stories are exploding all over the interwebs these days, so…why not?

I guess I should start with a little bit about me. I’m an ex-fat girl, turned skinny girl, turned slightly chubby girl, who’s working on turning into bad-ass fit girl.  Back in 2007 I topped out just over 200 pounds.  Right around Thanksgiving of that year I joined Weight Watchers and dropped off 70 pounds over the course of the next year.  I maintained between 130-140 pounds until about 2011, but I was never particularly “fit.” I ran a lot, I was in good cardiovascular shape, but I had no muscle strength. In 2011 I took a desk job and pounds slowly starting creeping on.  The scale says I’ve gained about 20 pounds, but I don’t believe that’s all blubber—I’m still wearing a lot of the same clothes from when I was 130/140 (more on that later). I guess that brings me to 2014…

In January of this year I decided to try Jamie Eason’s LiveFit program (which is online, FREE, and can be found here).  The program is 12 weeks; unfortunately I sprained my foot during a mud run in week 10 and couldn't finish.  My weight didn't move much in those 10 weeks, I think I only lost 3-5 pounds, but I gained more muscle than I've ever had and was fitting back into some of my “skinny” clothes (I told you I’d come back to that).  I've restarted LiveFit and am currently in Week 6.  I have another mud run this Saturday, so here’s hoping I don’t injure myself again (if there’s a tire obstacle I am NOT doing it!).

Now, onto the good stuff—the reason I’m even here typing.  Weight lifting has changed my world.  It has changed my views on myself, on strength, on size, on food, and on body image. I’m no longer simply focused on being “skinny”, or on taking up as little space as possible on a chair.  I am focused on being strong.  Nothing feels better than when I can increase weight on a tough set or than when I can execute a move that I've been struggling with with perfect form.  I love that I can walk into the free-weight area of the gym with my head held high and feel right at home.  Food is now a fuel source.  Yes, I enjoy food.  I enjoy BBQ and cheeseburger and pizza. But I know that those things, while a nice treat now and then, don’t make a great fuel source. If I go out to lunch today and get a big greasy stromboli, my lift is going to suck tonight.  Food isn't just for enjoyment.  Food is fuel.  Crap in=crap out.  Body image and confidence—these have been the biggest changes for me.  I no longer pick apart my body. I have “problem areas” and things I definitely want to improve.   But instead of standing in the mirror and berating myself for them, I praise the subtle outlines of my abs, my emerging biceps, or my kickin’ quads.  Weight lifting has taught me that I’m worth more than the number read from a scale or from a measuring tape.  I am a muscle, I am strength. 

This has been a pivotal week for me.  Earlier this week I put a HUGE goal in my five-year plan (I’m not willing to throw it out there for the public yet though).  I've kicked butt with meal prep, have stuck with my plan, and have hit my macros spot on every day (I’m carb cycling to kick-start my metabolism).  Last night I CRUSHED my personal bests in the squat and leg press.  I’m sore today, but feeling stronger and more determined than ever.  This road, this goal, won’t be an easy one. But it’s an attainable one. And I’m more committed than ever.  Here’s to the future!